


Elisande Owns a Helicopter Company

by Meimo



Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Behold my genius, Comedy, Helicopters, One Shot, Other, crackfic, fite me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23091682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meimo/pseuds/Meimo
Summary: Modern AU where Elisande is a helicopter pilot and any time she doesn’t like someone, she has them pushed out of her helicopter. It’s 3AM and I wrote this in like an hour so fight me.
Kudos: 2





	Elisande Owns a Helicopter Company

Suramar. As beautiful in the modern age as it was in ancient times, the great glimmering city of glass skyscrapers and neon lights stood high above the bay it graced with its presence as a shining monument to the highborne Shal’dorei’s sheer prowess as both a society and as a people.

It was a view that Elisande got to take in far more than most did, as she stood on the helipad of one suited billionaire or another, waiting for them to make it up to her before taking to the sky with them in tow, held aloft by the blades of what was perhaps one of the finest aviation implements the highborne had ever come up with. There, the view she was gifted as she stood waiting paled in comparison to the wondrous sights that graced her eyes from every direction.

As she looked out over the Suramar skyline almost boredly, the same way she’d done so many times before, she absentmindedly took notice of the slightest movement out of the corner of her eye. She didn’t have to turn her head to see what it was - new regulations had demanded every flight over the city had at least one on board.

But still she did, turning her head to face the gargantuan felguard stuffed into a cheap suit, if only to raise an eyebrow at him as if to ask what he wanted.

Rather than vocalize a response, however, the musclebound beast simply jerked his thumb in the direction of the door leading to and from the roof of the building they were standing on where, she could see, a slim elf in a _much_ nicer suit was swaggering towards the helipad, a great thick curtain of ivory hair framing a well chiseled, quietly smug face that gave the impression of someone that knew full well that he was better than everyone else, and loved taking any opportunity he could to remind others of it - whether through subtle power plays or simply through brute force. 

She recognized him well enough; he was a regular of hers; though, really anyone of importance in Suramar was a regular of hers for that matter.

As Runas began to draw nearer to the steps to the metal landing area, Elisande gave him the briefest of nods of acknowledgement - an absolute luxury granted to her by her necessity as a mode of both expedient and status-conveying transport and, more  
importantly, by the rare skill set she possessed that such transport required - before pulling open the door to her chopper and climbing into the pilot seat while her recently acquired associate helped the suited elf into the cabin.

Despite the mandatory nature of the felguard’s work with her, their relationship had swiftly progressed from the moment they’d met from one of begrudging mutual acceptance of the situation at hand, to one of not insignificant rapport and synchronicity. As a result, while she still vehemently despised what he represented to her - grievous overregulation slowly crushing the windpipe of her painstakingly constructed business - he himself, she had grown rather fond of.

As the blades began to spin up, drowning out all other noise as they did so, Elisande took brief notice through a small mirror she’d carefully rigged up above the center console, the movement of Runas climbing into the cabin and taking a seat far off to one side, legs folded over one another as her felguard compatriot climbed in after him.

It wasn’t long after that they were airborne, the contraption of finely honed Shal’dorei technology and carefully crafted steel beginning to drift along across an open sky towards the other end of the city where she was sure her client had some sort of important meeting or event he needed to get to. It didn’t matter what it actually was - it could just be a joy ride for all she cared - but one of the principle rules of the transportation industry was to treat every trip as though it was for something of the utmost importance.

Still, she was nothing if not of an inquisitive nature, and it _had_ become a game of hers to try and guess what each of her clients was doing - without ever asking, of course.

It was to that end that her eyes gave the briefest flicker away from the skyline in front of her and up towards the mirror she’d so thoughtfully implemented. As her gaze fell on the snide form of Runas sitting there like some sort of carefully perched spider, the first thing she took notice of was the absolutely garish tie he’d chosen to wear - an awful abomination of seafoam green with tiny orange designs interrupting its otherwise solid color scheme at equally spaced intervals.

As if the tie’s design wasn’t bad enough on its own, it was even worse when contrasted with the mid-grey pinstripe suit he’d for some Elune-forsaken reason chosen to wear; to say nothing of how poorly both appeared next to his own indigo skin and snow white hair.

She returned her eyes to the skyline ahead, adjusting her course ever so slightly as she did so as if it were second nature at this point. 

Perhaps he was going to some sort of bad outfit party? Yes, that’d make sense. An event to see how atrocious of an ensemble one could throw together while still remaining well within the limits of propriety.

She looked back up at the mirror again as if to confirm her theory, only for her stomach to drop in horror as she got a closer look at him this time. His shirt’s buttons were blatantly mismatched, causing his outfit to appear unacceptably asymmetrical - a violation of social protocol that was only compounded by the slanted windsor knot he’d arranged his tie into.

His cufflinks didn’t even match.

This was far beyond what could be considered socially abidable at even the most adventurous of orgies and theme parties. This was an act of rebellion - no, it was an act of _terrorism_. He sought to destroy Shal’dorei society and its people from within, first by attacking their beautiful culture, then by spreading chaos unchecked like some sort of agent of entropic cataclysm.

She couldn’t sit back and allow this to happen, she knew. A little known fact of aviation was that as a pilot, while up in the sky her word was law, and she was nothing if not a benevolent leader thusly.

“Vinigozin?” She spoke into the headset microphone to get the felguard’s attention before, as he looked up at her, jerking her head to one side.

The message was clear, and as the demon’s cracked lips split into a malicious grin, he placed a thick, veiny hand on Runas’ shoulder, earning a look of incredulity from the elf.

“Know your place,” Runas coldly intoned “or be put in it.”

This only caused Vinigozin’s grin to widen. “Have a nice trip.” He rumbled back in a deep voice.

“Nice tr- wait what are NO I-“ whatever he might have said instantly morphed into a terrified shriek as he was sent plummeting down to the city below.

Relief washed over Elisande at once. That villainous scoundrel had been vanquished before he could bring harm to anyone else. Perhaps the sight of a falling body crashing into the pavement would cause some momentary chaos below, but once they gazed upon his outfit, she was certain they’d agree she’d made the right - the only - decision for the salvation of the Shal’dorei race.

Who knew? They might even give her a medal for her heroism in the face of danger. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

Her paid in advance trip now finished ahead of schedule, she gently turned the chopper and headed to attend to her next client - one she hoped, for the continued security and success of Suramar, would be more well dressed.


End file.
